BEAUTIFUL!
These are a few of my favorite things.
1. Awkwardphotos.com: You know how, when something really shitty happens, friends and family say, “Fifteen years down the line, we’re gonna’ look back at this and laugh” ; and, through the tears, you say, “You think? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to laugh at this. It’s just so. . .horrible.” This website is a pictorial representation of the scenario I just described. As a kid, I HATED taking family photos. I remember my mother squeezing me into too-small shoes and midget dress suits in 105-degree Miami weather. Most of us despise family photos and can’t imagine deriving pleasure for the most insincere of family facades. Trust me: This website will give you hours of enjoyment.
2. Roomba: Every gay has his limits. Some won’t top; others won’t bottom. I know gay guys who won’t go down on guys unless they’re wearing a condom. I’ve got boundaries, too. I don’t vacuum. Let me say it again in my best Real Housewives of Atlanta accent: “I dooooooooooon’t vacroom.” If I didn’t run my Roomba on a daily basis, my hardwood floors would turn into a thick, smelly dog hair carpet and then Carmen our cleaning lady would yell at me for being messy. I am repeatedly shocked at how effectively Roomba vacuums my floor. And, no, “vacuums my floor” isn’t a euphemism for anything sexual. I may be gay but I do not advocate man-on-robot love.
3. Damages: This show is sexless porn for gay men who love bitchy, smart, stylish women. The program features two thin, Armani-clothed, gorgeous gals, who devote their lives to manipulating and trying to kill one another. It’s like a family reunion! I could spend 500 consecutive hours watching Glenn Close and Rose Byrne taking turns slapping one another in the face, licking blood off their lips, and whispering “bitch.” A quick note to my feminist friends who think gay men tend to objectify women as much (if not more) than straight men: You’re right! And I feel so much shame. So much. Maybe you should come over to my house, slap me in the face, call me “bitch,” and then watch my tongue wipe salty blood from the corner of my pretty, pretty mouth. Patty Hewes is a gay man’s Traci Lords.
4. Bump Application (iPhone): The poet in me loves poetic iPhone applications. Bump allows iPhone users to transfer contact information with a simple bump of two iPhones. I’m not kidding. Bump two iPhones against one another and the two devices exchange name, phone number, address, birthday, owner picture, and other bits of contact info. It’s like the devices are infecting one another with STD’s, or socially transmitted data. Bump’s the perfect application for coke head social butterflies who do bumps in the bathroom and can then bump newly made cocaine contacts into their cell phones. Hell, I don’t even do cocaine, and I love this application, which I might add is FREE on iTunes.
5. Complaining about being a second class citizen. There are many skeptics that believe that bitching over the internet won't do anything. I beg to differ! The more we cram this issue down people's throats the more public opinion will begin to change. Remember how the public ended the war in Vietnam? Yea that's right, by showing people soldiers dying every night on their TVs. Therefore, don't back down and keep putting up those Facebook statuses and Tweets. Keep strong brothers and sisters this fight will be ours in the end.
Let the sunshine in,
Noel Rodriguez.
Bingo, bangle, bungle, I'm so happy in the jungle.
Waiting around for my parents has sent me into an introspective survey of the way I am. I want to share facts about myself in the way made famous by Facebook. The 25 facts blurb. Here I am:
1. I own close to 100 if not more musical soundtracks. That says A LOT about myself.
2. I have an extreme fear of the ordinary. I want my life to be exciting, to mean something. I don't know what I'll do with myself if I look back at my life and nothing extraordinary has happened.
3. I think I'm funny. I enjoy the things I say. Is this vain? Possibly Do I care? Hell no.
4. I am a very emotional person in regards to the arts. For example, I can go plenty of funerals without crying. However, I can't sit through the song "Flesh Failures" from HAIR without weeping like a cry-baby. Check the song out...hopefully you'll be crying too and that will make me happy. Schadenfreude eh?
5. I don't think I'm getting anything from college that I did not already know.
6. I have a crush on EVERYONE!
7. I would take sweets over the best meal in the world.
8. There's a fear in the back of my head that I'll never find "the one". But like wayyyy waayyyyy back in my head.
9. "The Final Countdown" never seizes to amaze me. I bet it's probably stuck in your head right.......now!
10. People who write meaningless Facebook statuses are a nuisance to me. I don't care about your day..spice it up and say something worthwhile, something that will make me smile. Now those people are the ones that interest me. Not "So and so: _________ insert moronic complaint"
11. I usually never laugh the same way. All the ways are a tad obnoxious, silly, and childish. I also snort a lot.
12. I've never been more proud to be a gay man. However, I'm still coming to terms with certain members of the gay community. I think to move beyond the stereo-types people have of us we have to make a conscious effort to be superior. I see a lot of homosexuals striving for superiority in our country and that excites me. I hope more gays are empowered during these coming years of gay rights liberation to change the way we've been seen in the past and change the country and the world.
13. I usually check out bands people tell me and download the entire CD. I need to get better at actually listening to the music. I have soo many gb of music and I hardly listen to most of it. Time to expand. But electronic music is what's in for me right now. Loving: M83, Justice, Passion Pit and many others. Good time for music.
14. My mother is my idol
15. I want to grow old in Connecticut. In a large house with many gardens. I want to be surrounded by books and by children/grandchildren constantly visiting. I want to teach somewhere where students find it an honor to hear me speak. I want to leave my mark in the world before I leave it.
16. I think Kristin Bottary is going to be an amazing artist. She's one of those friends I'd really like to keep forever. She's sooooo talented. She certainly comes to mind when I think about people whose craft I truly respect.
17. I've finally decided it's time to lose weight. Not for anyone, for myself. Not for vanity because I'm perfectly comfortable with myself. However, it's time to shed this skin I've been living in for sooo long. Time to begin anew and to change the way I live, work, eat.
18. I've always promised myself that nothing would ever hold me back. It's working so far. Here's hoping for the future.
19. I've learned to never be envious of anyone else. We've all got our own gifts. Like Dorian Corey said "If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high...hooray for you!"
20. Even though they were horrible to the people around them I think Jerome Robbins and Arthur Laurents are two amazing figures in American Theatre.
21. I've come to enjoy really trashy television. It's rather hysterical. Examples: Charm School, I Love Money, etc.
22. I'm 19 about to turn 20 and have never had a pair of shoes I truly liked.
23. I have two favorite Overtures....Candide and South Pacific.
24. Really simple things give me great joy. Example: Ichatting with Leanne P. when she looks her best ;)
25. Red wine > White Wine. Always.
Reaction to MILK
I just saw MILK again.
I don’t know what to say.
I’m completely numb.
Utterly out of sync with reality.
This movie should be required viewing.
History books, you have a lot of wrongs to make right.
Harvey, where were you when I took U.S. History?
Stolen.
Erased.
Denied.
The s(l)aying goes:
“Those who don’t learn from history
are doomed. . .”
but what happens to those who steal,
erase, and deny?
Those who don’t learn from history,
those who don’t learn from his story,
those who don’t learn,
those who don’t,
learn from his story,
don’t learn history.
An Unreliable Mind
As I sit here on vacation in Tenerife one of the largest islands in the Canary Islands I can't fight the urge to write. I've decided that I would honor the bloggersphere with my presence. Honestly, I'm not that vain but have decided that it's time to share my writing, ideas, and down right insanity with the rest of the wide world. So this is a hello and welcome to the ideas of an unreliable mind. I titled the blog an unreliable mind because we are all partially insane. All humans omit and heighten details in their lives to make it all make sense or to make it all feel right. Presented henceforth are my omissions, my heightened events, and the details that make my life make sense. My sole purpose in sharing this with others is to connect you with your own creative voice and to make you aware of your own omissions, heightened events, and details. Enjoy!